We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.”~ Orson Welles

Last weekend, when I visited Meridian, I was reminded why I never want to live there again. Don't get me wrong--I love spending time with my parents. But, other than that, I just don't fit in, nor do I WANT to! OK, so I enjoy going to Weidmann's, since it's one of the few decent hangouts that Meridian has to offer. Fortunately, I ran into an old guy friend, and met some of his mutual friends, so I at least had people to in which to conversate...The friends I grew up with are married with families, so naturally, it's hard for them to get away every time I visit. Last weekend was one of those times where we couldn't all get together, which is totally understandable, since it was Easter weekend. So, getting to what I HATE about Meridian...It's all about cliques! For example, you can go out here in Hattiesburg, and befriend people easily. I am very sociable, and make friends easily. But, that's not the case in Meridian. If I go out, and see people my age, they aren't going to talk to me because I didn't attend Meridian High or Lamar. So, I went to Calvary and a county school. Big deal! I am a college graduate, I have a nice car, clothes, etc...It's not as if I am trash, but I might as well be...That's the ironic thing about Meridian---I see these clique of girls who I actually have more in common with than the friends I grew up with. The "snobs" that are my age aren't married, nor do they have children. But, because I wasn't a Deb, Dusty, or MHS or Lamar alumni, I am "beneath them," so-to-speak. Hey, but I was in a sorority while I was getting my first Bachelor's from Southern Miss...Does that count for anything? I am totally being sarcastic...Yes, I was in a sorority, but I don't care to prove myself to ANYONE! LOL...

I know, I know...If you are reading this, you are thinking I care too much what others think. And, yes, at times I do. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it just really pisses me off that bitchy girls in Meridian turn their noses up at me, even though I don't give a damn what they think, nor do I want to be their friend. I know deep down, they are insecure and closeminded, especially since they choose not to make other friends outside their "circle." That's really boring and pathetic.  So, this is why I never want to live in Meridian ever again.  I just can't see myself ever being happy there, even if I lived there w/a husband...I feel as if I am a square peg being forced into a circle-shaped hole when I am out and about in The Queen City...

What's worse is that I had a falling out recently with a good friend.  We've exchanged e-mails, and agreed  not to hang out for a while...I think we'll be OK, eventually...I hope, at least...:(
I love Hattiesburg, and will probably retire here...I don't know if I am ever gonna get married or not---my love life has always been a disaster, LOL. But, you never know what will happen, but if I did get hitched, I would be willing to move with my husband, as long as we stay in the South. So, I definitely don't plan to get involved with a Yankee or a guy who desires to live in the North...LOL...

I know I shouldn't get too down on a couple of friends whom I am having issues with at the moment. I have several close friends, although they all live in different towns or states...I have been very blessed...But, sometimes, even with these amazing friends I have, I feel completely alone...Sometimes, I feel as if no one gets me...Sometimes, I wish I had a kindred spirit that I could bear my soul to and not be judged...

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.” ~Kurt Cobain

I've always had this idea that growing pains were something that one only experienced as a child and teenager. At the age of 32,  I am realizing that I am still capable of these pains...

Hello out there...

Writing was a favorite pasttime of mine in my younger days. From the ages of 13-15, I kept a daily diary. Then, as I became an older teen, I'd only write on the days that something tragic or exciting was happening, from the perspective of a moody teenager. From my 20s til now, the times I've written for enjoyment or to vent have been few and far between. So, maybe starting this blog will make writing a priority for me once again.